I have a pretty great marriage. That’s not to say we don’t have our moments because we certainly do. We can yell and scream with the best of them but overall I think we make an excellent team.

I fell in love with my husband because he’s smart, oh so charming, and he makes me laugh all the time. According to him he fell in love with yours truly because I make him laugh and I’ve got “that thing”. I think “that thing” might be man code for “oh god, please don’t make me talk about feelings” but anyway…

Laughs, charm, intelligence and maybe even “that thing” are all great ways to keep your marriage alive, fun, and interesting but to make it last your going to need a few more ingredients. Complete respect and trust for each other is probably the most important things but I really believe money can be a deal breaker in many marriages.

My husband and I are on the exact same page (or at least within a few pages of each other) when it comes to money. We like to spend but have the same ultimate goal and ideas on how to get there.

If you and your partner don’t feel the same way about money it could lead to a disastrous end to your relationship. So, before you take that next step make sure your on the right track for success.

Be Honest: Before you take that final step be honest about your finances, no matter how much it hurts. Let him/her know about your debts, financial history, current credit issues, etc. Talk about your financial goals as an individual and as a couple. Be realistic but dream big. A strong team can do anything with the right game plan.

Combining Incomes: Decide ahead of time if your going to combine income, have separate accounts or a little bit of both. For some couples having separate money works and works well. If money may be an issue in your relationship this may be a way to stop trouble before it begins.

Be Fair : If one person earns more then the other, I would suggest working out a way to even it out a little to avoid any resentment. This could be as simple as putting any excess in a joint account. If the higher paid half respects the other they shouldn’t have a problem with giving up some of their money to the joint account. Make sure both of you have the same goals and/or ideas for the joint account.

Goals Aren’t Enough : Having the same financial goals are great but remember everyone has different ideas on how to get there. You may believe saving every dime and investing safely is the way to go. Where as your partner may think the only way is to go big. He/she may believe the best way to reach your goals is to invest your entire savings in velcro pants because they are going to be the next hottest thing. Talk about how you want to reach your goals, make sure you agree before sailing off into the sunset.

Respect Each Others Passion : If your partner has a passion for cars, games, baseball cards, or whatever. Respect that. You probably have your own passion for maybe shoes, art, or even gourmet foods and coffee. Even if you think it’s the stupidest thing on the planet and a complete waste of money, remember that your partner doesn’t feel the same way. If your not up to your eyeballs in debt and your babies aren’t going hungry, let each other have a little fun with the money.

For example, I buy a new planner every week and never plan a thing but I love planners and I want them. My husband never even bats an eye, he knows they make me happy no matter how silly it is. In turn he has a $100 lightsaber that hardly ever gets touched but occasionally he likes to pull it out and fight darth vader in his underwear and no matter how odd that might be (and he’s going to kill me if he reads this) I’m ok with that.

Be Prepared For Anything : Life sometimes throws strange things at us so be prepared as a couple. Make sure both of you know where all financial information is and how to access it. If something happens to one of you, the last thing the other one is going to want to worry about is how to pay the light bill or where you keep the insurance papers. Make sure your life, health, and other accounts are in order and you BOTH know all the details.

Remember Love : There may be several times the kids are sick, the roof is leaking, one of you lost your job, the car breaks down AND you have run out of money to buy balloons for your great Aunt Selma’s 100th birthday bash.

Money stress can easily cause havoc on any relationship so always remember just to breathe and keep in mind that you didn’t marry each other for complete financial bliss (hopefully, anyway) but for love. Bad times will come no matter how wonderful your partner is. It’s up to you to work them out before they explode. Love is a journey filled with ups and downs, don’t let money get in the way of enjoying each other and the life you decided to share.